(Raise Your Voice) Things I Never Had (a poem, dedication)

Raise Your Voice

Things I Never Had

Written  February 4th, 2012

I dream of things I never had

On this freezing lonely night

As I cling to this life so fleeting and sad

Without these dreams I’d have no will to fight

And I’d be stiff and cold by morning light

I dream of fields, sprawling and green

Soft plumes of grass beneath weary, cracked foot pads

Forests and skies that stretch to eternities unseen

A family full of love, always glad

Each night a big warm meal to be had

I’ll make it through each long, painful day

On a stomach with no food and a heart with no love

On shaky legs and a mind that’s begun to decay

I’ll survive till dusk touches the grey sky above

So I can sleep and briefly enjoy the things I’ve been dreaming of

I dreamt of things I never had

This night sky ablaze with a million stars overhead

This field full of fireflies like lanterns gone mad

This girl beside me, who will always love me, she said

And waiting inside, that warm, soft, inviting bed

This girl, my companion, she calls me by name

Kisses that spot on my head, reminding me her love is there

Even though from those torturous years, I’m physically lame,

She hugs me goodnight and holds me when I’m scared

There’s never a day where I doubt her heart is full of care

I spend hours resting on this warped porch stair

Gazing out over all that is mine

If I died this very moment, I’d die happy and without a care

I often wonder how I stumbled into this life so fine

This family and haven where I’ll spend the remainder of my time

Sometimes I remember those dark hopeless days

All the nights when I dreamt of the things I have



---

I wrote this poem for my dog, Buddy. We picked him up from a rescue shelter a few years ago, to give his old, sick self a nice retirement home. His last owner did not take care of him. He actually has what we call his "shark fin", a sharp protrusion on the back of his head that is a result from being so malnourished that the muscles around his head degraded so that the bone sticks out. It's less noticeable now than it was when we first got him. But we fixed him up and got him back on his feet, and he now lives comfortably with us, his loving family. His favorite pass time is sitting on the porch step and gazing out into his big yard, and the field and forest beyond the yard fence. I was watching him on that step today and the idea for this poem came to my head. I often wondered if he thinks about his old life when he sits on that step, knowing that he can never take what he has now for granted. 

After I finished writing I decided that this would make a good addition to my ongoing "Raise Your Voice" collection, because the poem is a story of animal abuse, a story that has a happy ending. Not all animals are like Buddy though; they don't all get that happy ending. So before you go out and buy that cute, perfect little puppy from the store, I ask you to consider stopping at your local shelter instead. Most of the dogs I've ever owned are from shelters, and they're some of the best damn dogs in the whole world... at least I think so.