"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away." -Shing Xiong *** "Do not go where the path may lead; instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson *** "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." -G. Randolf *** "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -E.M. Forster *** "Imagnination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited, imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein *** Defintion of Suburbia: A place where they cut down trees and name streets after them. -(Unknown, found on sticker) :p *** "A lie goes halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill***"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." -Louis Ginsberg ***"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." -Martin Buber

Sunday, April 24, 2011

(Dear Marius) Now You Know (a poem, a dedication)

Dear Marius
Now You Know
Written April 25th, 2011
The tears of Angels
From the great sky
So mighty
Each drop
Slapping me in the face
Stinging my skin
Though they’re so soft
The rain I love
Bites, merciless

I stand here
On the iron tracks
On which I have stood
So many times
My feet have been here
On this very wooden crossbar
So many times
But never
Never like this

I scream
So loud
The air shatters
I’ve never screamed
So loud
No one has
No one has but me
These lonely wet woodlands
Echo my voice back
My broken anguished screams
Lonelier than the midnight train
Overfilled with pain
Never so much pain
In my whole existence

I scream loud enough
So the sky, it hears me
I’m talking to the power
Who lives there
I scream all the way up
Into the utmost atmosphere
So He or She or It will hear
“There had better be
A reason
Or so help me God
I will tear you down
From the skies”
I will keep my promise
I will keep my promise

“Strike me down!”
I scream up
From this mortal ground
“With a bolt of lightning!”
But there is only rain
No thunder
No end for me, so frightening
“You won’t do it!
It’s not my time…”
I want to fall
To my knees
And I want to climb
Past the stars
“But it was his.
It was his.”

I know you’re here
Watching me
Throw a tantrum
Bigger than a hurricane
With enough energy
To turn the world
With more heat
Than the flame
That took you
From my arms
I know you’re here
As the Angels cry
As I am surrounded
By rain
With no relief
And air
With no oxygen
And trees
With no pity
Just echoes
Of my horrific
Demonic wails
Buzzing in my ears
And my only consolation
Is that as you watch
My lungs turn inside-out
As you watch me
Who you thought so strong
Crumble into dust
Is that now you know

How deep
How deep
The well of m heart
Is for you
You took to it
A spade
Called friendship
And dug it worlds deeper
Than I ever thought
It could ever be

Though now you’re ashes
My well
It’s still full of you
And this is where
I’ll escape
To remember you
But not now
Not now

Now, I scream
I scream
And I challenge the one
Who took you from me
But he won’t strike me down
Strike me down!
But the only answer
I receive
Is Angel tears
And the feeling
That you’re beside me
Holding me

Hold me
Don’t let go
Please don’t let me go.

Rest in peace, Michael Hall, the greatest friend I ever had. You will always be my Marius. And I will always be your Cosette.