(Dear Marius) Were You Real? (a poem, a dedication)

Dear Marius

Were You Real?

Written May 28th, 2011

Pictures everywhere

Of a familiar face

A friendly green stare

And a smile like no other

In this world, anywhere

 

And yet these photos

Are just paper

Not living flesh

These photos

Hold the memories

Not the presence

 

This wrenching pain

Builds in my chest

Tears I refrain

As guilt consumes

You reality is slain

I have memories

But it’s not the same

As the days disappear

And you I try to sustain

 

I wonder:

Were you real?

 

I know it in my mind

You were true and tangible

But in my heart it’s hard to find

The more I remember

The more you slip behind

 

And these pianos

Make only noise

Not your music

These pianos

Hold the potential

But not your initiative

 

I have these pictures

Full of your memory

I sit at the piano

That you once played

One should think

These objects are proof

Not to me

For you are no longer here

To back them up

And they become just objects

Meaningless matter

 

As the days wear on

And I slip farther away

I wonder:

 

Were you real?

 

-------

As time goes on and it becomes evident Mikey is not coming back, I get this awful feeling when I look at pictures, and I have to force myself to think back to memories to check and make sure he was real. He's so far away now, and it's hard to hang on. It makes me feel horrible and guilty.
I promise I won't let the world forget you were here, Mike. And I promise I won't let myself forget you were here. I love you always <3
-Your Cosette