"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away." -Shing Xiong *** "Do not go where the path may lead; instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson *** "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." -G. Randolf *** "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -E.M. Forster *** "Imagnination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited, imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein *** Defintion of Suburbia: A place where they cut down trees and name streets after them. -(Unknown, found on sticker) :p *** "A lie goes halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill***"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." -Louis Ginsberg ***"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." -Martin Buber



Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Monster in My Memory (a poem)

The Monster in My Memory
Written March 21st, 2011
I remember you
The face carved into my mind
Forever
I know it won't fade
A persistent stain
I remember us
How you kissed me
Held me
Your hands burning my skin
You said you loved me
I had never had anything like you
I was starved for love
Clinging to you
You were life, breath in my lungs

Now, I remember us
How you kissed me
Makes me angry, what I thought was passion
Was fake
How you held me
I want to push you away
Your hands burning my skin
Why did I let you touch me?
You said you loved me
But there was something in you
Dark and twisted
You lfet me in the cold
Apologized; did it again
Will you ever be able
To truly love?

I wanted only the best for us
But you pushed me away
Turned the blame on me
Made me into a monster
When I did nothing
Nothing wrong
I bet you still think you're in control
You're not
I'm not a monster
You are
I did nothing but care
You did everything
All the hurt

Now I'm crippled
I've forgotten how to love
I'm cold, my heart frozen
Trapped, the ice cracking
In painful spiderweb patterns
You took it from me
You broke me
I can't stomach another try
At love
Opportunity sits before me
In the form of a fallen angel
Giving me its heart
Asking for mine
I cannot give it
This block of tainted ice
I'm missing out on a second chance
Because of you
I wish I could love this angel
But you ruined it

I adored you so
Poured everything into you
The light of my life
I thought I'd always love you
In one way or another
But I don't not anymore
Not even you, my previous everything
That's how I know
You've truly crippled me

-----
A middle finger to the one who hurt me beyond close repair. It's going to take a long time to melt the ice around my heart. Thanks a lot, I really fricken appreciate it.